


Not in the Mood

by philsdrill



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Asexual, Asexual Spectrum, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Cuddles, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Gray Ace, Greysexual, M/M, Panic, Panic Attacks, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Sexuality, Valentine's Day, gray asexual, graysexual, grey ace, grey asexual, phan fic, phanfic, pre smut, presmut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 00:30:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14988839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philsdrill/pseuds/philsdrill
Summary: Phil is graysexual (gray asexual) and wants to give Dan the perfect Valentine’s day. Things don’t quite go as he planned, but Dan is the understanding and supportive partner he needs.





	Not in the Mood

**Author's Note:**

> If you happen to have read this before, I posted this in February on tumblr. Also if anyone's interested in following me on tumblr - I'm more active on there and there's more fics - you can find me at [philsdrill](https://philsdrill.tumblr.com).
> 
> Inspired by a [prompt](https://softgolftechniques.tumblr.com/post/170666104054/i-dont-know-if-youre-doing-requests-so-sorryyyy) sent to another tumblr user who didn't want it. I don’t have any experience to confirm it, but I think I’m graysexual, so this was quite nice to write.

Phil had a plan; he was going to make Valentine’s Day special for Dan. He wanted to give Dan a cheesy romantic valentines day experience with a meal out to a fancy restaurant. He’d already started the day with a bunch of red roses and some chocolates he knew Dan would enjoy. Phil had promised to himself that he wouldn’t eat them this time; they were meant for Dan after all. Being romantic was something Phil could do, but being sexual wasn’t quite his department.

After years of struggling with the ins and out of his sexuality, never quite understanding why sex didn’t appeal to him, Phil eventually came to the conclusion that he was graysexual. He experienced sexual attraction sometimes; there were nights he would enjoy taking his boyfriend to bed, but in the main, it was something he didn’t exactly feel comfortable with.

Phil was glad Dan was so supportive; it meant a lot to him. Phil knew how much Dan loved the sex when he was up for it, but he was patient and understanding when Phil wasn’t. That didn’t mean Phil didn’t feel bad sometimes though; he knew there were nights where Dan retreated to his other bedroom where he kept his sex toys. It hurt Phil sometimes that he wasn’t enough for Dan, but it was a part of their relationship that he was slowly starting to accept. Just like Dan didn’t always take part in Phil’s Buffy marathons, Phil didn’t always take part in Dan’s sexual activities. They were both their own people, who loved doing things together, _most_ of the time.

Phil had been planning this day for a while. He had reservations at a fancy restaurant which he had made months in advance, as he knew Valentines Day would be busy. He had booked a car to pick them up in time for their reservation at eight.

Phil was desperately hoping he would be in the mood to pleasure Dan later on. He knew that no matter what Dan said, that would be what he wanted deep down. Phil couldn’t say yet that he wanted to have sex, but he wanted to want to. He wanted to make this night as perfect for Daniel as possible.

As they got ready for their date, Phil was enjoying Dan’s appearance in more ways than usual. Dan’s curly hair, which he usually found adorable, was striking him as hot. Phil didn’t always take note of Dan’s butt, but the tight fitting trousers he had on was making Phil want things that he wasn’t sure he was capable of.

“You look hot,” Phil told Dan, wanting him to know how he was feeling. If Dan knew Phil was in the mood at the moment, that would be a good omen for later.

It was unusual for Phil to find himself growing hard from just looking at Dan. All he wanted to do in that moment was take Dan to bed and bury himself in that arse. He’d have to control himself though, they had a dinner date to attend first.

“I don’t know what’s got into me, but I want you so bad right now,” Phil admitted to Dan. “It’ll have to wait until later though; we’re not missing out on this dinner.”

“I look forward to it,” Dan said, chuckling cheerfully, “Go splash some water on your face though; you look like a tomato.”

“It’s hot in here,” Phil complained, despite knowing there were other reasons for his complexion.

Once Phil had cooled himself off, there wasn’t long before their car was due. The two of them made their way down the stairs and got outside just in time for it arriving.

–

The menu at the restaurant had all sorts of valentine’s day specials on top of the regular menu. Of course, Dan and Phil’s relationship with food meant that they ordered more than most people would be able to eat. They planned to make the most of this.

As they ate, Phil couldn’t help but notice how adorable Dan looked, all of his features looking soft in the warm lighting. Phil was admiring his beautiful boyfriend, the smile on Dan’s face showing he was clearly enjoying the meal.

The food was amazing and Phil couldn’t help but make appreciative noises as he tried each new dish, licking his lips to get every last drop of flavour. He finished every last bite of his food, all five courses. In the end, Phil was stuffed, but he felt good, full of food, happy and content.

Dan was a bit touchy on the way back to the flat, but Phil didn’t reciprocate or bring it up until they were back in their own space. Dan was clearly trying to take things to the bedroom, a result of Phil’s earlier suggestions, but Phil was so stuffed with food that all he wanted was to relax on the sofa for a while. As Dan captured him in a kiss and slowly backed him up against a wall, Phil made the decision to gently push him off.

“I ate so much food, I think I need to recover for a bit first,” he said, explaining his actions.

Phil hoped that with giving himself a little time to let his food settle, that might also help him get back in the mood. He’d decided it was probably just his full stomach putting him off; he’d definitely been in the mood earlier and was sure that would return.

Phil spent a while sprawled out on the sofa, one hand resting on his slightly aching stomach, before he eventually felt recovered enough to start moving around again. He wasn’t quite ready to initiate sexual things with Dan yet, but maybe he just needed to start things off with some kissing.

Making out with Dan was something Phil enjoyed, even in just a romantic sense. He got quite into it, so much so that when he felt Dan hard and pressing into him, he didn’t have any second thoughts about grinding into Dan to give him some friction. Phil himself wasn’t hard yet, but was convinced he would get there. He wanted to do this for Dan.

Things got pretty heated pretty quickly and Phil made the decision to take it to the bedroom. Breaking things off to get there was always a little strange, but he knew he’d feel more comfortable doing sexual things where they were meant to be done. Phil pushed Dan down onto the bed, trying to get himself into the role. Soon, he was touching Dan through his trousers, trying to tell himself that he could do this.

Phil’s hands were shaking profusely as he unzipped Dan’s trousers, and as he pushed them, along with Dan’s boxers, down his legs. Dan hadn’t noticed Phil’s anxiety; he was too caught up in the bliss of Phil touching him. It had been a couple of weeks since he’d been touched by his boyfriend, and he was enjoying it thoroughly.

The panic hit Phil very suddenly. He still wasn’t hard and the realisation struck him that there was no way he could fool Dan into thinking he was okay doing this when he couldn’t even get hard. He realised, that as much as he wanted to have the desire, he didn’t want anything to do with sex at that moment. He knew he had to tell Dan; there wasn’t anything else he could do.

“Dan,” Phil said, shakily, any false confidence having left his voice, “I don’t think I can…”

Phil paused, taking a deep breath and trying not to cry. He was suddenly quite overwhelmed and the tears were pushing at the corners of his eyes.

Dan looked up at Phil, as he realised the state Phil was in, “Oh God, Phil, it’s okay.”

Dan’s first instinct was to grab his underwear from down the bed and put them back on, no matter how uncomfortable that would be. They’d been in this situation before and he knew that would make Phil more comfortable.

“Phil, you know I’m fine with you not being up for it, you should’ve said something,” Dan said softly, trying to comfort Phil and not sound like he was telling him off.

“Sorry, I just… I was in the mood earlier and I thought I could get back into it,” Phil said, stuttering his words, “I wanted to make valentine’s day special for you, but I guess I ruined it.”

“Phil, you haven’t ruined it in the slightest,” Dan insisted, “We had a great little date and you know I’m equally up for an evening of cuddles. C’mere?”

Dan’s invite of ‘c’mere?’ was said with open arms, inviting Phil in for a hug. Phil didn’t move, instead staring at Dan’s crotch uncomfortably; he was thankful for Dan’s boxers, but he was still visibly hard.

Noticing Phil’s hesitance, Dan grabbed a pillow from behind him, positioning it vertically to cover up his crotch, reaching from the bed up to his stomach, “How about now?”

Phil accepted the invite now, shuffling forward to nestle between Dan’s legs. He’d now given in to crying softly, but burying his face in Dan’s chest seemed to give him a little comfort. Dan brought his arms around Phil, wanting to comfort him all he could.

“I love you so much, Phil,” Dan told him, “I don’t mind that you’re not up for sex very much. That’s okay, I just wish you’d let me know instead of getting yourself into this state, okay.”

“Mmm,” Phil mumbled into Dan’s chest, sobbing quietly.

Dan tightened his hug, rocking Phil gently in his arms. He hated seeing Phil this fragile, but Dan knew he was still figuring himself out a little and things like this were going to happen until he got a grasp of his own boundaries.

“Let’s get ready for bed and we’ll cuddle for a little while,” Dan suggested, “I know you like that.”

Dan got up with Phil, then the two of them got into their pyjamas and brushed their teeth together. They got into bed, Phil lying tensely on his back as Dan grabbed Phil’s favourite fluffy blanket. Dan spread the blanket on top of their duvet, then nuzzled up next to Phil.

Dan rolled Phil over onto his side, then positioned himself around Phil as a protective big spoon. It took a couple of minutes for them to get comfortable together, Phil curling up a little and Dan putting an arm around him supportively. The two of them laid there, Dan pressing non-sexual kisses to Phil’s neck, being a supportive boyfriend and telling him everything he needed to hear.

To Dan, Phil was the most important thing in life, and his asexuality wouldn’t affect that. Dan definitely appreciated the times Phil did want to have sex, but he didn’t take it for granted. There were so many aspects of their relationship that meant more than sex to him. He loved Phil wholeheartedly and nothing was going to change that.


End file.
